The Unity Candle
(To appear after ring ceremony): If you decide to have a Unity Candle in your wedding ceremony, here are some ideas to make your wedding ceremony unique and creative!
For a regular Unity Candle ceremony, you need two standard tapers and one large candle in the middle. Two outer candles are lit just prior to the ceremony, either by the ushers, the mothers of the bride and groom, or other family members. If you are planning an outdoor ceremony, lighting a Unity Candle is not possible. However, it is possible to include the words below in the ceremony, with minor alterations, and then to light the candle indoors afterwards.
The flame has traditionally been thought of as a symbol of the spirit. __________________ and ___________________, you have learned much in your individual lives. [Optional, if the mothers have lit the candles just before the ceremony: Your mothers are both here to bless your marriage, and it is fitting that they have lit the two individual candles you see here. For it is they who brought you life, and taught you your first lessons about love.] Your [other] family members, and friends, many of whom are here with you today, have all been a part of your individual lives, and have shared with you your hopes, your dreams, your triumphs, your sufferings. But at some point the two of you met one another, and something started growing between you that was not just _____________ and not just _________________. There’s a special way you are together that’s just not like the way you’ve ever been with anyone else. You have a way of sharing with each other, of laughing and joking together, that’s unlike with anybody else. That special love you felt for one another continued to grow, bringing you to this moment, when you are committing your love to one another, and building a life together. Just as the flame you are about to light is not created solely by either candle, so too is your love not the sole possession or creation of either of you. As a symbol of the spirit of love that has grown between you, I would like to ask you to light the Unity Candle at this time. (This is another good time for a song, if you wish to have music during the ceremony.)
This is great for outdoors, where a three-mile-an-hour wind can blow out a candle. It adds individuality and a feeling of customized uniqueness to your wedding ceremony.
________and ______, today you join your lives together. The two containers of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. Many of those who have helped shape those lives are here today or here in spirit to celebrate with you. They have shared with you your individual hopes, dreams, triumphs, and disappointments. But at some point the two of you met one another, and something started growing between you that was not just ______and not just _______.
There’s a special way you are together that’s just not like the way you’ve ever been with anyone else. You have a way of sharing with each other, of laughing and joking together, that’s unlike with anybody else. That special love you felt for one another continued to grow, bringing you to this moment, when you are committing your love to one another, and building a life together.
As you pour your containers of sand into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be, united as one for all of your days. May your love last longer than it would take to separate out these grains of sand. As a symbol of your love and commitment, please pour your sands in together at this time.
Unity M&M’s, Unity Luminescence
Here are two truly individualistic couples and their creative ideas. One couple with five kids between them got seven different colors of M&Ms. They joined the kids in pouring all the different colors together. Another couple, both chemists, poured two clear liquids together and created a bright blue liquid that actually glowed: a truly luminescent wedding! What can you join together? Wine? Watercolors? Coins? You are limited only by your own creative fires!
Note: If you have children, they may be included in the Unity Ceremony.